Amy Is The 100th Sheep

by Ross Decker Sr

Today is the anniversary of Amy’s death. It wasn’t suicide. But it was her life that caused her death. I’ve written about her before on this blog  because her life haunts me in a way. I didn’t know her, of course, but her tragic life and death clings tom e. she pops into my thoughts pretty often and I can’t help but wish that there was a second chance for her. I want there to be a rewrite that gives us a happy ending. I want her to get straightened out, be happy, win Grammys and entertain the world. Her voice was a singular gift to us all.

This world is intrigued by the “what ifs.” It’s a classic plot point to see one event or one inner demon as defining a life. If only she had fallen in love with a different guy. What if she hadn’t met Blake? Would things be different for her? I wonder. I wonder if the creativity that produced her talent also produced the drive to pursue what would kill her. no matter, it was something she could not control. She could not will it away. That lifestyle, fueled by self-doubt, was the light that drew Amy to the flame.

But, what does it mean for those who knew her? What should they have done to help her? What could they have done? The only answer I can come up with is “everything.”  They should have tried everything.

It is so sad that those who profited from Amy’s talent could not find the time to help her with her demons. She was a profitable throwaway for them. I realize she was resistent to help, she was drawn to that which would kill her. That doesn’t make her less valuable. She is the 100th sheep friends should leave the 99 for.

One Reply to “Amy Is The 100th Sheep”

  1. I, too, wonder if it’s the drive that immense talent spawns that ultimately destroys burns itself out. Or maybe it’s intense pain that those of us who are blessed to be ignorant of cannot fathom. Those, especially, who do themselves in with drugs are the ones I think about. Slow suicide. They know that it will kill them eventually and they insist on riding that train.
    What is so maddening about Amy Winehouse is that everyone–EVERYone–saw it coming. I agree with you, Ross. Those surrounding her are the ones I want to shake and ask, “DID you do everything you could?” I have a close family member who committed suicide. The guilt that those left behind feel–and yes, I’m one of them–will follow us and color us forever. The question is always in the back of my mind, “What more could I have done? Or said? Or what questions should I have asked?” There is always that anger, simmering below the surface.

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